Childhood Interrupted

Pre-teen or teen? What’s the rush? Why the rush? Why school, friends, and extra-curriculars like sports and music bands are not enough, who knows? Sex hormones take over and boys spread their genes and disappear, and young mothers and their children serve as collateral damage.  

Was it love? Infatuation or crush? A distraction from your life goals for sure for when intimacy gets in the way and the consequence is pregnancy, it means loss of your childhood. More often than not, immature boys disappear and you’re on your own. Remember that brains don’t fully develop until around 25 years old. What did your boy know? What did you know about motherhood and raising a child?

There was a time when most of my Kindergarten students’ mothers were in their teens supported by their young mothers who conceived them in their teens, too. A vicious cycle of childhood interruption. Instead of growing intellectually, emotionally and physically, they had to bear the pains of pregnancy and motherhood. On the bright side, they were back to school with family support. Unlucky were those who had to fend for themselves and start making a living to raise a starving fatherless child. Imagine the limited jobs and income for young girls who don’t have a high school diploma, creating a vicious cycle of poverty, failed relationships, domestic abuse, and homelessness.  

Young mothers and their families are not the only ones who suffer from the consequences of teen pregnancy. It’s the growing children who have questions about their missing fathers who suffer the most for when they start forming their identities and a piece of the puzzle is missing, that’s when rebellion starts. Were they unwanted children? A result of an accident or mistake? Do they have a grandfather or stepfather figure who can be role models? The cycle continues for young boys who will find comfort in the arms of as many girls they can bed and leave weeping. Such was the case in one high school where there were about a dozen children with the same surname. They called themselves “cousins” for having the same teen father who was absent in their lives. Whether this adonis father grew up to be involved in a decent or indecent business, no one knew, but the sad truth in that small town was that he left the young mothers to fend for themselves and some of his boys ended up in jail.

When my young roommates started having boyfriends, I gently reminded them that God had a reason to put heads above hearts. It’s reason before emotions. It’s reason that rules, but what could they do with stronger boys? What did they know about consent and rape? What was clear though was that I was there for them when tears started falling for two out of three boys had a change of heart. What did they know when the prefrontal cortex wasn’t fully developed?

Save the pre-teens and teens. Parents don’t stop being their primary teachers and the home the primary school once adolescence starts. This is a crucial time to form “friendship” and see eye to eye, and lend an ear to growing pains exacerbated by electronic addiction, “Sephora kid” trend, online bullying, sextortion, and opportunistic testosterone-high boys. Let our girls grow and fulfil their dreams. Stop childhood interruption! MLJ/10/11/2024/OnTeenPregnancy