Pre-teen or teen? What’s the rush? Why the rush? Why school,
friends, and extra-curriculars like sports and music bands are not enough, who
knows? Sex hormones take over and boys spread their genes and disappear, and
young mothers and their children serve as collateral damage.
Was it love? Infatuation or crush? A distraction from your
life goals for sure for when intimacy gets in the way and the consequence is pregnancy,
it means loss of your childhood. More often than not, immature boys disappear
and you’re on your own. Remember that brains don’t fully develop until around
25 years old. What did your boy know? What did you know about motherhood and
raising a child?
There was a time when most of my Kindergarten students’
mothers were in their teens supported by their young mothers who conceived them
in their teens, too. A vicious cycle of childhood interruption. Instead of
growing intellectually, emotionally and physically, they had to bear the pains
of pregnancy and motherhood. On the bright side, they were back to school with
family support. Unlucky were those who had to fend for themselves and start
making a living to raise a starving fatherless child. Imagine the limited jobs
and income for young girls who don’t have a high school diploma, creating a vicious
cycle of poverty, failed relationships, domestic abuse, and homelessness.
Young mothers and their families are not the only ones who
suffer from the consequences of teen pregnancy. It’s the growing children who
have questions about their missing fathers who suffer the most for when they
start forming their identities and a piece of the puzzle is missing, that’s
when rebellion starts. Were they unwanted children? A result of an accident or
mistake? Do they have a grandfather or stepfather figure who can be role
models? The cycle continues for young boys who will find comfort in the arms of
as many girls they can bed and leave weeping. Such was the case in one high
school where there were about a dozen children with the same surname. They
called themselves “cousins” for having the same teen father who was absent in
their lives. Whether this adonis father grew up to be involved in a decent or
indecent business, no one knew, but the sad truth in that small town was that
he left the young mothers to fend for themselves and some of his boys ended up
in jail.
When my young roommates started having boyfriends, I gently
reminded them that God had a reason to put heads above hearts. It’s reason
before emotions. It’s reason that rules, but what could they do with stronger
boys? What did they know about consent and rape? What was clear though was that
I was there for them when tears started falling for two out of three boys had a
change of heart. What did they know when the prefrontal cortex wasn’t fully
developed?
Save the pre-teens and teens. Parents don’t stop being their
primary teachers and the home the primary school once adolescence starts. This is
a crucial time to form “friendship” and see eye to eye, and lend an ear to
growing pains exacerbated by electronic addiction, “Sephora kid” trend, online
bullying, sextortion, and opportunistic testosterone-high boys. Let our girls
grow and fulfil their dreams. Stop childhood interruption! MLJ/10/11/2024/OnTeenPregnancy
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